Do you enjoy wasting your customers’ time?
Then remember that the best way to say something is generally the shortest. People are busy, and they don’t want to waste time while you gradually get to the point.
I recently worked on a treatment for a film with Charlie Southall of Dragonfly Productions , and one of the ways I improved the document was to whittle ideas down to their essence. The reader is then swept along to the end, without a chance to get bored.
This is the introduction before editing:
The opening sequence and introduction of the video is extremely important. Its aim is to create an initial impact, therefore hooking the audience, drawing them in to want to watch on. Its aim is also to make a clear and impact full statement. This opening statement is that the Red Cross are ready and able to help in emergency situations.
And here is the streamlined version:
It is vital that the opening scene makes an impact. Viewers must be hooked from the start to ensure their attention throughout. The first message this film will deliver is that the Red Cross are ready and able to help in emergencies.
When editing text, always ask yourself what it is you are trying to say. This will help identify any unnecessary sentences. Isolate pointless copy and chop it out!